Thursday, December 17, 2015

An open letter from the son of a convicted heroin trafficker



A voice from the other side. By Adrian Simon

I lost my father not once, but three times. The first time when I was only two, he was arrested in Bangkok attempting to traffic 8.5 kilograms of smack into Australia. Subsequently he faced the death penalty, creating international news, and in doing so destroying the fabric and stability of my whole family. Most of all, my daddy broke my heart. Choosing to be a drug dealer is like making a deal with the devil, and the devil always collects.

From the day I was born, Heroin shaped the course my life. Stained by greedy actions, my mother and I were forced to live in the shadows, tarred by the same brush by an unforgiving society.
How do you tell your child his father is a bad man, locked away rotting in a Thai prison? There is no easy way. The world was closing in. The media reports never went away. This inescapable truth realized after witnessing my father on TV. There was no turning back. That was my daddy.  My world was rocked; overloaded. I couldn’t process it. The heroic Alfa male I manufactured in my mind during his absence was nothing but an illusion. When Mum told he was never coming home, I broke, and in a snap suffered a nervous breakdown. I was only nine years old. This set forth a mental condition known as OTD, obsessive thought disorder. I was stuck in a torturous loop of destructive thoughts. I wasn’t expected to recover or at least grow to be healthy. Not only was my father lost, I was too.

The second time I lost my father was upon his release from the big tiger prison. He returned a deeply affected man. In a sick irony, the drug he trafficked ended up trafficking his soul. During his twelve-year incarceration he became a heavy heroin user. Reality was a cold serve when I finally came face to face with my biological father. Sixteen years of social, mental, physical and family tribulations had built up. When we shook hands at the aptly named judgement bar in Sydney, I knew then, not that I wanted to admit it, my father had lost himself to addiction.

As soon as I was old enough I hit the road travelling the world. Leave the past behind was my motto. Be the director of my own future. Wasn’t long before I was walking on thin ice, experimenting and testing my limits. Call it youth, or define it as covering up a damaged past, I was tasting the world’s offerings. What was becoming clear was I had to let my father go. His lack of effort demonstrated a lack of love, which really hurt. So by the time I was living and working in the media in London I decided to kill him off, metaphorically speaking. He was dead to me.

The problem with this was it was another form of suppression. Shoving more baggage in an already cramped compartment in my emotional system. No, the cord wasn’t cut.

This decision was a bitter and corrosive pill to swallow as under the surface, laying deep in my subconscious I was searching for answers. Answers to why I had endured adverse childhood traumas requiring resolution. Like a disease, traumas have ways to rear their ugly head.

Years later, call it coincidence, fate, intervention, I received a call out of the blue from a private number. I never answer private calls, though on this occasion I did. It was my father; it had been at least five years since I heard that croaky voice. Bolts of anxiety shot through me.

There we were, father and son standing again face to face, only this time a role reversal. I felt like the father and he the son. He looked terrible, perhaps not long for this world. I knew we could never take back the lost time. I was apprehensive and skeptical as a result of his past behavior. I couldn’t just turn my back and walk; it appeared he needed my help. Damn, maybe the little boy in me did as well. So I gave him another chance.

My father wrote a book called The Damage Done, known worldwide by millions. That was it, the way to glue us together. Combine this best-selling story with my media skills to produce a movie to rebalance the family chi.

Maybe this time we would walk off into the proverbial sunset together.

Some damages can’t be undone. Drug addiction is too powerful and too all- consuming. My father slipped again, leading him down the dark path towards psychosis. In and out of psych wards for years, the mental strain on all of us led us to breaking point. Sadly the bond could never stick. Heroin poisoned any chance of a healthy and lasting relationship. The hardest and only choice to make had to be done. I lost my father for the third and last time. The cord was cut.

I recently wrote my own book titled, Milk-Blood, growing up the son of a convicted drug trafficker.  Writing was something I had to do. To conquer my demons, uncover the truth, and most importantly face up to reality.

Part of what I discovered throughout my life is the sad fact the media and society only see through a narrow lens.  The focus is always on the addicts, the dealers, the cartels, and the war on drugs. What about the mothers, fathers, siblings and love ones that are continually picking up the pieces? They too are suffering, in ways that are lifelong and immeasurable. The many unheard voices from the other side. Taking care of an addict is taxing on all levels. The essence of heroin is evil at its core, indomitable in nature and completely unforgiving.  
The human spirit is truly remarkable. Together we can implement the right steps and programs to re-educate and construct effective rehabilitation systems. With groups like Stop Heroin Now, we can help change minds, hand in hand. This is where the true strength lies, in the everyday people banding together. For all those affected, stay strong, there is always a way.
On a final note, if it weren’t for the strength of my single mother, who knows how I would have ended up. Equally, I saved her life, if she didn’t have me nor the maternal drive to protect us, she would be dead. Love wins in the end.
If you want to find out more about my story, read a sample of Milk-Blood, or listen to a sample of the audiobook, hit this link http://www.theauthorpeople.com/milk-blood/


You may just find some hope and inspiration through this lived story. Expect the unexpected.

Friday, November 20, 2015

How Heroin Use Impacts Families

Heroin has become front page news, and the dramatic surge in overdoses and deaths continue to rise and shows no signs of slowing down. According to statistics provided by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), heroin use jumped 63% between 2002 and 2013. In that same time period, the number of deaths related to heroin overdose quadrupled. Many families across the United States are struggling to cope with the devastating impacts of heroin addiction. Like other forms of substance abuse, the impacts of heroin use by a loved one affects the entire family dynamic.
The following are some major ways in which heroin use affects families.
Stress and Mental Health Issues
If family members know that a loved one is using heroin, it can cause them an overwhelming amount of stress. Once heroin addiction dominates focus, family members can spend nearly every moment of their day trying to cope with the effects of heroin use and they often neglect taking care of their own needs. For parents of heroin users, they often can become emotionally or physically available to their children. Not only can parents feel the onset of chronic anxiety and depression in trying to cope with heroin addiction in the family, other family members who feel neglected as a result of addiction can also experience chronic depression and anxiety If addiction issues are not handled proactively and with the help of professionals, this may result in long-term mental health issues.
Financial Issues
While the rising heroin epidemic can be largely attributed to the influx of potent and inexpensive heroin into our country, heroin addiction is expensive. Heroin is one of the most potent substances on the planet, but the highs associated with heroin are relatively short-lived. Heroin users feel intense cravings for the drug every few hours, and as a result they must buy considerable quantities of the drug daily to stay high. Heroin habits often drain an individual’s financial resources quickly, and as the result they may resort to begging or manipulating family members for money to maintain their habit. In addition to supplying funds to continue their habit, family members may also be helping with rent, groceries, bill and other financial obligations that the addict has neglected as a result of their heroin use. This enabling behavior causes undue financial stress on families.
Health Effects
Because of the various methods of administration, those who abuse heroin can experience severe health complications. Chronic heroin users can suffer from collapsed veins, cardiovascular and pulmonary issues, and if they share contaminated needles with intravenously injecting the drug that are at great risk for developing infectious diseases such as hepatitis C, and HIV. For families of heroin users, watching a family member who was once healthy and vibrant physically transform in front of their eyes is extremely stressful and heartbreaking. These complications can overburden many families, and they will feel extraordinary amounts of stress in trying to learn to cope and care for addicted loved ones.
Overdose
Heroin is not only one of the most addictive drugs on the planet, it is also one of the most dangerous. Heroin is a potent narcotic that acts on opioid receptors in the brain, and it also significantly affects the central nervous system. When people take too much heroin or try to quit the drug cold turkey, the body reacts violently and essential functions such as breathing and heart rate can shut down resulting in coma and death. For families of heroin addicts, the fear that today may be their last day is always at the front of their mind. With the potency of street heroin and the additives that dealers use to cut the drug, overdose can a common and unfortunate reality.
Avoid The Blame Game
When a loved one is addicted to heroin or any other drug, the family’s first instinct is to assign blame for their substance abuse. Family members may blame themselves for not seeing the signs of abuse sooner. Family members may also blame each other for enabling the addict’s behavior or neglecting others. Additionally, the family may blame friends, their workplace, their school or another institution for contributing to their loved one’s heroin problem.

The reality is that heroin addiction arises from many factors. Assigning blame towards situations and people will not help the problem go away; in many cases it will complicate matters and cause further damage and undue grief. The important thing is that you move forward and find a way to deal with the actual problem at hand. The best way for families to deal with a loved one’s heroin problem in a proactive manner is to seek the professional help that is offered through a reputable heroin treatment facility. These facilities provide the tools and support to help your loved one address and overcome their heroin addiction.

Thank you to Rose Landes, Outreach Coordinator for Stodzy Internet Marketing for being a guest blogger!
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A Family in Recovery


November 1, 2015 is a day of celebration for not just one individual, but an entire family. Below is an amazing story and celebration of a family who has together made it on the other side of addiction. This is not an uncommon story of substance use and a family desperate. It is a story of successes and love that is not heard enough!

"Two years ago I refused to give up hope on my son. My instincts as a mom told me to do anything possible to find him before it was too late. Lake was in touch less and less. Thank God his father had a GPS locator on Lake's phone that gave us a general idea of where he might be. Other than the phone, we had taken the Tough Love approach and no longer gave money to him or allowed him in our home. He simply could not be trusted. Our lives could not go down with the addict. My heart broke for the son whose life was taken over by heroin. Through a friend on the police force I was able to find out there was a warrant for Lake for a traffic violation in Gwinnett county. For 3 days my friend cruised the area we thought he might be. Finally, she located him in a motel known for drugs and arrested him for the traffic violation. That traffic violation may have saved his life. Of course I got the call..."Mom, come bail me out." No, Lake, I guess you will detox in a jail cell in downtown Atlanta. As terrible as that thought was, the relief of knowing he was off the street at least for a day or two was much greater. But I knew this was a critical point in time. What should I do now? Where will he go if I don't pick him up when he is released? Back to the streets most likely with no money and no place to go. I chose to be there when he was released 6 days later, much to his surprise. This Mom had to give him another chance. I could not let him walk out of that jail with no one waiting for him, thinking no one cared. His father gave him one more chance to get help, but insisted he go only to No Longer Bound. Three days later Lake walked onto the campus of NLB for the second time. And the rest is written by Lake below........
(Ironically, as I was writing this post Lake called....to thank me for that day 2 years ago. For caring enough to find him....NEVER give up hope on someone you love or someone you know struggling with addiction. You just might get a phone call like I did a few minutes ago. The tears right now? Tears of joy!)"
-Lake's mother, Solution Starter

"This is my wonderful, beautiful, handsome, intelligent, warm (I could go on and on) nephew, Lake.
People, heroin does not discriminate. It is not just an inner city drug. It doesn't care if you're black or white, educated or uneducated, rich or poor, none of that. It can and does affect all walks of life. Please, if you know someone battling an addiction, no matter what it is, encourage them to seek help. Don't give up on them.
For those who say there is no such thing as "addiction", you haven't watched a loved one go down that road. You haven't heard a parent/sibling cry and live in fear of getting "that call". Addiction IS real.
God has truly blessed this young man. He went through hell and back. But he is back and more wonderful than ever.
I see a bright future for you, Lake. You and Emily are and will be an inspiration to soooo many. LYMI!"
-Lake's aunt, Solution Starter

"I am SO proud of my cousin, Lake Barrett, and the way he is using his story to impact others. There are so many people struggling with addiction and he is proof of what God can do. He had a decade long addiction and had tried rehab 17 times before. Never give up on those you know fighting this battle. Love you and so thankful for your life, Lake!"
-Lake's cousin, Solution Starter

" 2 years ago today I got arrested and decided to try my 18th attempt in treatment. Heroin had taken over my life since 2003 and it destroyed everything in me and around me. Only this time wasn't just an attempt, I stuck it out and fought my ass off to get better.
But through that addiction is the same thing that actually brought me life and I am so grateful everyday for my family, friends, those who paved the way before and those who will continue to trudge the road to freedom after me and especially No Longer Bound. They say heroin addicts don't recover and definitely not when you're mixing it with everything else. Thank God I'm no longer defined by all the labels I carried in with me. If you are struggling reach out, we are here to help you I am here to help you. Have hope, freedom is SO possible!" -Lake Barrett, individual in recovery... and a SOLUTION STARTER!
Not only has Lake taken action to be the solution to his own recovery, he is also working towards finishing his degree and opening a sober living facility to give others a solution. Stop Heroin Now thanks Lake and his family for their contribution in their community and giving hope to so many that may have lost it. Thank you for being solution starters!

What is a solution starter?

Addiction casts a dark shadow over everyone in it's vicinity. To say that addiction is an individual problem is greatly missing the mark. Over 1 in 4 families in the U.S. are impacted by addiction. With families losing a loved one to addiction every 4 minutes across the nation it is time to demand change. Many brave individuals and families have begun to give a voice to those lost... to share the truths to end the stigma against substance use. We honor and remember the millions we have lost by making a difference today.

Brave and courageous people are putting those words into action; they are called SOLUTION STARTERS. To become a part of the solution is to be a solution. A solution does not have to be large. While many will focus on the large end goal, we cannot forget the million small goals and the countless solutions that go into success. Choosing to not use today is a solution. Setting clear boundaries with your loved one is a solution. Wearing a t-shirt in support of recovery is a solution. Calling someone to see how they are and invite them for a coffee or smoothie is a solution. Sharing your story... furthering your education to serve in AODA... raising money for awareness and drug education... the list goes on and on.